I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
