i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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