This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
