My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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