I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
