i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
