I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
