Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize