well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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