We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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