what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
