Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize