He is like the real live version of the state fair..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
