just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
