He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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