Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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