So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
