But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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