seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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