were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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