Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
