the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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