you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
