Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
do herpes really smell.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
