Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
