So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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