Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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