i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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