"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
