we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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