Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
