Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize