It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize