I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm too high and old for this...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
