it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
