he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
