If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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