i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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