We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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