just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize