My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
