got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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