You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize