So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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