so that wasnt chicken after all
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize