If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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