A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
