the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
