so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
