nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
