At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
True college students do jello shots in the library
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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