After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
