i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
