I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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