I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
