I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
nutella sex= disaster
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
