Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I need water and some morals
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize