Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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