Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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