lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Buhtt sex?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
