Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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