there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
