Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
