Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Everything about him screamed your future.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
