hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
