she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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