yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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