He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
