I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
