12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
