I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
