big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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