Swine flu. Run for my life!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
