We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
