She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
