my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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