If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
