once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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